Perfection (or lack thereof)

I have always been one of "those people" who needs to have things as close to perfect as possible.  When I make the bed -- the flat sheet needs to line up precisely with the bed frame, and be equal lengths on both sides.  I used to make the hospital corners tuck, but I've let that go a little.  In my classroom -- the desks need to be lined up exactly on specific lines in the tile floor.  When I taught in a classroom that had carpet, it was TORTURE.  I had no guide lines for my desks!  My clothes -- have to fit "just right" according to me, or else I can't wear it that day.  This has resulted in sometimes 5 or more clothing changes before I settle on something.  I have to be early to functions, or else I'm late, and my stomach gets in knots when I'm late to something.  My wedding started ON TIME.  I think I threatened my sister with death, or at least bodily harm, if she wasn't ready to go when I said so (For the record, she was not harmed at all.  Good job, Marissa!).  When I load the dishwasher, I have a method to loading it, and when Erik puts something in there where it doesn't belong in my mind, I have to move it.

Okay, now that I'm describing some of these things, I'm thinking I might have a little OCD... (maybe just a little)

But having a baby has changed (some of) this.  As I type this, I am sitting next to a baby who is wearing just a diaper and wrapped in a blanket because he has been spitting up for the majority of the morning, making his cute little onesie that I had dressed him in earlier a disgusting, smelly, soaking wet mess.  And I have to be okay with that.  We have had the explosive poo farts that result in streaks of yellow on otherwise sparkling white onesies.  And I've gotten used to simply taking that onesie off and replacing it with another.  Grant it, I usually have to change the pants and socks so that they now match the new onesie, but that's another story for another day.

ANYWAY...

It's been hard for me to have to give up some of that perfection in my life.  I'm not going to lie.  More than once, I have had to change my shirt because a certain little someone spit up his breakfast all over it.  And that's after I've already changed my shirt 4 times because I didn't like how the others looked.  And at first, I FREAKED OUT over that.  It was so difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that my classroom, right now, is not the way I want it, but I can't do much about that while a long-term sub is there in my place.  I can't lose sleep over the thought that my desks are not perfectly arranged (and I'll admit, I sorta kinda did at first).

My hair?  Doesn't always fall perfectly into a place anymore.  In fact, I usually have to admit defeat and pull it into a ponytail in the mornings.

My clothes?  Not always what I want to wear for the day, but it's what works for that moment.

My house?  It's not as clean as I would like it to be.  And stuff that used to have a place doesn't anymore.

Arrival time?  Well, I still try to get to where I need to be a little early.  If it means that I have to wake up half an hour earlier, so be it.  That's one thing I can't compromise ;-)

But my loss of absolute perfection has been worth it.  So, thank you, Jacob, for making your mom realize that sometimes, you just have to let it go and allow for some imperfection, because life goes on as normal.  Sometimes.  (ha!)

Hey mom!  I just puked all over my onesie.  Again.  For the 5th time today.