It's Easter... But It's Not...

Happy Easter, friends!  The boys' baskets are together and Erik hid some eggs for Jacob to find in the morning.  We dyed eggs this afternoon, and made cupcakes for the get-together at Erik's parents' house tomorrow.  Jacob decorated them, and if you have been watching my Facebook or Instagram feed, then you saw how much joy he took in decorating those suckers.

So it's Easter.

But it's not.

Holidays, especially those where religion is involved, are hard for me.  When I was younger, and when I lived at home, Holy Week and Easter were always fun church holidays.  There was Holy Thursday, with the incense and bells, and the transfer of the Eucharist, and then "church-hopping" to visit each parish's altars of repose.  There was Good Friday, with more incense, veneration of the cross, and fish for dinner.  Holy Saturday was always pretty awesome -- basket blessing in the morning, then the Vigil Mass at night -- more incense, the first fire, and all of the other rituals that made church history so interesting.  Sometimes we got roped into serving or singing an Easter morning Mass as well.  It was always a lot of church, but it was interesting church; and it was fun to be there with my family.

But now these church holidays are lonely.  I'm not living close enough to my family to go to church with them, and there's no family down here who will go to church with me.  So it bums me out a little, and I find myself feeling kind of down when these holidays come around.

I like to tell myself that when Jacob and Michael are older, we'll do church things together and they'll find some fun in parts of it.  But I don't know.  

It would be nice if we could go to the big holiday Masses (Christmas and Easter) as a whole family.  Maybe some day.